From “Hey, Baby!” to “Fat B****”

At some point in their lives, many women (including I) experienced the following scenario:

Man: “Hey, baby! You’re pretty hot. Want to go out sometime?”

Woman: “No, thank you. I’m (in a committed relationship/married/not looking to date right now/just coming out of a bad divorce/some other reason).”

Man: “F*** you then, you fat b****! Your loss!”

Many women tend to ask, “Why do some – but not all – men become angry and resort to calling us names like “fat b****” when we don’t want to date them for one reason or another? Why always throw out a weight slur?”

Why indeed.

Are certain males immature man-children who can’t handle rejection? Do others have a complex that they are God’s gift to women, and any rejection is seen as a reason to point out a “flaw” in the form of an attack on one’s body size?

There’s a common perception that women of size have insecurity issues and should be flattered any man pays attention to them. Perhaps such a perception is true in some cases, but not all. Contrary to popular belief, there are women over size 4 who are confident, smart, intelligent, active, and know exactly what they want out of life.

When men encounter women in the plus size community and learn she isn’t “easy” as expected, they become annoyed and find a reason to make their “target” feel insecure. Unfortunately for those men, it doesn’t always work; if anything, it makes him look like a total jerk!

Such an insult is not limited to curvier women. A size 2 woman recently said she was also called a “fat b****” when she turned down someone for a date.

More than likely, slurs such as “fat b****” are more about misogyny than a woman’s body size. It’s a low blow used by men who are dealing with their own internal issues. If a woman wore glasses or had an artificial limb, they would hurl insults based on those. Such insensitive men usually take a swing at a woman’s most positive or well-known asset and try to belittle it with the last few seconds they will have with her.

Another thing that bothers me are men who play certain “cards.” We’ve likely had encounters at one point with men we rejected asking, “Is it because I’m (a specific race/religion/economic class, etc.)?”

No, but men who ask such ridiculous questions make them even less appealing. Being turned down isn’t always about physical or earthly assets. If there isn’t one thing that will draw us to the man asking us out, nothing will change our minds.

Call us all the derogatory names or play all the “cards” in this world; no will still remain no if the chemistry isn’t there.

In all my years of dating, I still don’t understand why men take being turned down so seriously.

No man should have the power to make women feel any less of a person, be she a size 2 or a 22. No man who thinks he can speak down to any woman is much a man to begin with. If you’ve come across these types, be thankful you chose not to date them in the first place. You deserve so much better.

With everything said, ladies should go out and embrace themselves for the women they are. Real men love women for their true selves – and real men certainly wouldn’t resort to such immature behavior as calling someone a “fat b****” when they are turned down for a date.


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