Please Don’t Patronize the Big Girls

Curvy Woman Silhouette Clip Art

A variation from what I recently read on a message board, making it more applicable to me:

Since many of us have changed our eating and activity habits – therefore, our appearances are also changing from what those around us are used to seeing – there are a few things that are unacceptable to do/say when you notice someone is getting smaller:

1. “All it took was a little self-control to give up all those sweets/Pepsi/takeout food.”
While I will own up to my previous Pepsi habit, it wasn’t like I’d spent all my free time eating Hershey bars in the bathroom or ordering takeout food every night.

2. “You’ve done so well. I’m so proud of you for making such a positive change.”
This is great coming from friends. From people I barely know, it’s gets annoying after the first three times. I’m not sixteen years old and learning to drive.

3. “Now don’t your knees feel better? Soon you won’t need treatment for them at all.”
Yes, they do feel better, thanks for asking, but unless your name ends in “M.D.,” I don’t think you’re the appropriate people to advise me on future medical care for my arthritis. No matter what my weight, it won’t change the fact I’m going to need knee replacements sometime in the future.

4. “Soon you’ll be able to wear pretty clothes.”
Right, because they don’t make fashionable things in a size 22. Did you really expect me to walk out of the house in a muumuu or sweats until I reached a single-digit dress size? One, I don’t even own muumuus, sweats, or even a sports jersey. Second, I have no plans to wear a single-digit size. My dream size is a 12 or maybe a 10, but the latter may be pushing it.

5.”Gearing up to get a man?”
Never mind I already have one. Even if I didn’t, at my age, going man hunting would be the last thing on my mind. One of my biggest goals is actually seeing my 70th birthday, something neither parent nor one of my sisters had the opportunity to do.

6. “Nice to see you’re taking better care of yourself than your mother did.”
Yeah, thanks for that, considering she died nearly 19 years ago from cervical cancer. Her weight issues were more thyroid-related than from overeating. Good lord.

While your intentions may be good, I’d appreciate if people quit stopping me every five minutes while I’m in public and loudly squealing like a tweener who just spotted Justin Bieber. I’m glad you love seeing my progress, but the whole United States doesn’t need to know that I didn’t always look like I do at present.

I also don’t need reminded that I’m fat or have a big butt. I already figured out everything by the age of five, thank you very much. A size 12 I aim for will still be “fat” in the thin-obsessed society, but I don’t care. Even if I was semi-skeletal in appearance, I’ll still have a big butt. It’s called genetics, and you can thank my mother’s side of the family for those.

By the way, I’ve changed my habits not because I’m trying to fit into society’s standards or even what the insurance charts say I should be a certain size, but to prolong my life and feel better as a whole. So whether you’re curvy, skinny, or in between, rock what God gave you.

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